This Isn't All About Joey Epstein

Joe, Joey, Joester….shut up. This isn’t about you. Or at least it’s not all about you.

Jo Jo wrote an op ed in the Wall Street Journal suggesting Dr. Jill Biden refrain from using the title Doctor. He had reasons. Sort of. They weren’t good, but they were reasons. No, actually they weren’t reasons. His essay was a hot mess of BS, antiquated BS, and clueless BS. In the middle of the mess he relates that he taught at the university level for years with only a B.A. He does have an honorary doctorate though. So there’s that.

Rarely, outside of a 90s SLAM poetry event, can one find a piece of writing so simultaneously self absorbed and lacking in self awareness.

The J Man began teaching creative writing in 1972 or 1974. He was about 35, had served in the Army, and had a Bachelor’s. I’m guessing the time between graduating and teaching was filled with learning to write. That must have been a hard time what with the economy expanding and numerous magazines and places to publish. I can see why he would be too tired to go for the advanced degree.

I’m not ragging on J-Bachelor Flash for only having a B.A. It took me 22 years to get my Bachelor’s. Less than 10% of the world are college graduates. It’s probably even harder to get a degree if you’re not a white guy from Chicago in the richest country in the world going to school at the height of the country’s wealth. J-Stone had to study things like Latin, a list of like a couple of dozen guys, and maybe three civilizations in existence. It was a slog, I’m sure. But he persevered. Not to graduate school though. That was too much. No reason to get crazy.

But really though, a straight-presenting, white dude with a college degree had it pretty easy post-World War II. J-rific went to college when working a minimum wage job paid for tuition. After college he could concentrate on his writing or whatever rather than scramble for anything to pay loans. He taught for about 30 years on a B.A. You can’t apply for an adjunct position today without a Master’s. Even then, you’ll be competing with a host of Ph.D.’s for that same low-paying temp position.

And let’s talk about competition. J Rock didn’t really have any. In 2016 women represented about a quarter of all tenured professors. When J started teaching, women were about 25% of all full-time college faculty. That’s all faculty, including those at women’s colleges. How many women were in JJ’s department when he started? What did the application pool look like when he applied? Lots of Black people you think?

Why does this matter? Cuz JScore landed a job he wasn’t qualified for and held it his whole life, never once attempting to improve his academic credentials because he didn’t think he had to. And he didn’t have to. He was greatly rewarded. He published, won acclaim, and landed an honorary doctorate. What did the competition look like for him that whole time? Fifty years later Sir J-a-Lot is telling someone with a noted career she actually had to earn how to present themselves cuz she’s too showy. She should be more mediocre. Like him.

It’s surprising to a lot of people in academia that the industry is changing, and not for the better. It’s surprising to a lot of academics that they work in an industry. It’s quite surprising to me that this is so surprising. Being a professor is not a calling, it’s a job. Jobs are awful. The only thing worse than having a job is not having a job. Job conditions don’t magically get better. They improve when people who work those jobs fight to make them suck less. Capt. JHeart isn’t some idiotic son of privilege who has been given everything. He’s a mediocre dude born at the right time and given everything. The industry that propped him up is crashing, and it’s not a coincidence it’s happening when people who don’t look like J-Stomp are in, or trying to get in, those jobs.

J-to-the-E is too obtuse to see what is happening. Instead he sees someone who actually put in some work. Not that much even. Let’s be real, Dr. Biden hasn’t had it that rough, but JLow doesn’t see that either. He sees the Doctorate. And it’s not even honorary. Must drive him nuts.